So.. you like a guy and he's not liking you back?

That's a truly hard thing to go through. There is so much we could talk about on this subject but i'm going to keep it too a minimum.

Liking a guy, Lusting after a guy and Loving a guy are 3 very different things although they can be intertwined.

So this blog is going to be about seperating the three. And knowing when they should go together.


Lust is an intense longing after something that is not ours.
Love is an affection or loyalty towards someone/something.
Like is enjoying someone.

So you've seen a guy, you think he's "good looking." That's all your basing your "liking" a guy on. All that means is you "like" what you see. We actually haven't stepped into lust yet because well you walked away. Just thought the person was good looking.

Later you see that guy again and start thinking what it would be like to be with him, to date him, he's gorgeous and you just want to be with him, you can't wait you have to have what you see. You walk away thinking/longing about that person more and more and more every day, there is no way they wouldn't be yours that's it. you like them so they're yours. Honey, you just turned your liking someones' looks(attraction) into lust.

You can actually think someone is attractive and not lust after them. A shocker I know but it's true. We can love someone that we are attracted to though, so there is hope.

Liking someone is totally different then both of those but you have to like someone in order to "fall" in love with them. Liking someone is enjoying them being around. If you don't enjoy their company you don't like them... you love them. You're definitely not "In Love" with them. Don't mistake being "in lust" with someone for "in love."

Lust is more of a "feeling" and a "longing" for, I want it because it "looks" good. Note: sin looks good too (lust for someone-in any form-is adultry). Love is more of an "As a Matter of Fact" It's an action. It's not just a feeling. It just is. We "Love" our family members (we don't lust after them) and sometimes we don't "like" them. But we love them. God loves us and we're supposed to love God. How we do that is by "showing" Gods' love. Love is letting some one go when they're not holding on to you. Letting that person be who they want to be but being there for them when they find out they want to be someone else. When you say I love you, you're telling a person I'll be there for you no matter what. EVEN if you don't "like" them(being a true friend)


Being "in love" with someone acquires all three of these, except the lust. How can I explain being okay with intimacy(private, personal) without lust being involved. I'll explain it this way. I was sexually abused. I didn't want any guys touching me no matter who they were. I flinch when any guys touch me, it doesn't matter who they are. UNLESS I trust them. When I was finally "comfortable" around someone I realized I wouldn't mind being with that person. It wasn't lust it was an unexpected comfortableness with being intimate with that person. (however if I think/long to much about being "okay" with it- it does become lustful) In Love is truly liking, loving, and being comfortable with being intimate with that person. I feel that in order to be fully in love with someone the other person has to feel that way about you too.

If a guy is not liking you back. It doesn't mean you're a horrible person. It means the guy isn't the guy for you. Sift through what you're "feeling" is it like, love, or lust? is it all three together? Is it really none of those at all? There is rare times that the guy doesn't see how much he really likes you. These are times to be patient with him, pray about the situation. Don't go praying "Lord, help him to fall in love with me." We don't want to be speaking things over someones life that isn't for them. But you can pray that God shows both of you His will no matter what it is.

Last point.. Guard your Hearts!! That doesn't mean don't fall for someone or don't try giving your heart to someone. It means to make sure that your heart is in Christ. Make sure that you are praying all the time for the situation, for you, for your future mate(no matter who it is). For God to prepare you for whatever/whoever is coming. If you're falling for someone and you're not praying for it don't yell at God when it doesn't happen. You let yourself fall without putting your heart where it should be in the first place and that's In Love with our first love.

Jesus!


Be Radiators,
Chris