Lesbian?

I'm not exactly sure how to start this one.. I know this is going to be very controversial.. and some of you are going to most likely get disgusted with me.. but hey.. it's kewl!! This is what I WENT through. What I LEARNED during a time I really didn't know who I was.

In 2002 I had so many things going on in my Christian life, I was helping build a church, making amazing new friends, and realizing that I had the gift of prophecy. God was putting "my guy" on my heart alot. I prayed for him a lot that year, who ever it was/is. God showed me things about the guy of my future that I wrote down, dated, and kept. Life was good. I moved out of my brothers house and lived on my own for a year. That's where everything went down hill. I lived over this guy who was a nazi. He was into all hitler stuff and it scared the heebie jeebies out of me. I started getting stalked not only by him but by other guys. nothing too too dangerous but it was unsettling. Guys came and went. I didn't really fall for any of them. I got torn apart by the first guy I actually fell for. It took me two years to get over that guy, but I finally did. During the year I lived on my own I started walking away from God. I didn't want anything to do with Him. The person that God was promising me was NOT in my life and I started thinking that maybe I was crazy and hearing things. So I put all my "prophecies" for me and him away.

I also put my hope in finding a guy away. I tunred to well.. Girls. I felt that since so many guys had treated me horrible, maybe I wasn't supposed to be with a guy. Maybe girls were it! Besides I'd been flirted with by more girls than guys so.. i started to actually believe that was where I was supposed to go. I totally turned my back on guys.

I was hurt and in this pit of where I just wanted someone to be with me. I wanted someone to love, someone to protect, someone to be there for.

In the back of my head I would hear the word of God whre God is speaking to Moses, "Do not lie with a man like a woman does. It is detestable." I was struggling so much with where my flesh wanted to go with what my heart and head knew about God. I pushed everything I knew about God away and kept to what I wanted. I didn't get a girlfriend though. I didn't date any females. But I struggled with it and at one point I really thought that's where I should go. I knew God would still love me. I also knew He wouldn't be able to bless me the way he wanted to if I followed the lie that Satan was feeding me.

Essentially what Satan was doing was trying to get me off the path that God wanted for me. It may not seem that way to those of you struggling but. If it's against the Bible and you're going that direction, You're not going to be blessed by God for doing it! The lie was that no Guy would ever love me, nor could he ever love me. I was settling for something that wasn't Gods' best for my life. We get our emotions mixed up, We tell our selves something and go for it not realizing that its NOT Gods' best for us. God lets us go through these things to show us things, to teach us.

Free will is tricky. God has given all of us free will to do and say the things we want to. God loves us, so he lets us do what WE THINK is best for us, what WE THINK we need. To let us learn from our mistakes.

I backed out.. I didn't see God bringing forth the promises he toldme in 2002. I was impatient! So I! walked away from God. IT was ALL ME. I was miserable during the 3 years I didn't want anything to do with God, or other guys for that matter.

Being a lesbian or being gay is very much against God it's against his Holy nature! It doesn't mean He doesn't love you any more. It means it's unholy. Just the same swearing, speaking vulgar, judging, murder, and other things are unholy. We NEED to rememeber and get it through our heads that God is HOLY! He's not our buddy.. he's not the guy down the street that seems perfect. He IS perfect. He sees everything that is against Him as unholy. If it doesn't glorify Christ/God it's not Him.

You know how when you were little your parents would say I know what's best for you! They meet a friend of yours and you're the best of friends! Your parents see something else in that person and tell you, they're not right for you. You argue with them until one day.. that friend totally turns their back on you and treats you like dirt! Well God.. knows more about everyone and everything than your earthly parents do and they were right....

He created Adam and Eve and I know it's cliche, but if there were supposed to be choices He would've created three different sets of couples in the beginning. A logic that I had to deal with through all this. And don't try to tell me that I'm wrong. I know my decision is correct, I still struggle with it, because i'm a mere human being. But my choice is Gods' choice and I can wait while he prepares my husband. He created one man for one woman, back in the beginning, so why would that change now?! Remember the Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God is pretty clear cut He doesn't let us "guess" at what's right and what's not. He says it in the Word (in the old and new testaments). Lets put it this way, If Jesus spoke against it... It's unholy!

You may be going through something similiar. And honestly you may have given up and think you're supposed to take the path that I tried to take, but honestly God has sooo much better out there for you! I worked for a lesbian couple, they faught, and their views on things were totally different. They didn't have one thing in common. I think we try to make the person we like be "the one" or settle for someone we know is'n't the best for us because we don't trust in what God has for us.

This isn't to judge anyone. This is my feelings.. what I went through.

God has something planned for all of us! (Jeremiah 29:11) He doesn't HATE you for the decisions you make, even if they're not biblical. Understand that Satan does exist and he does ruin things for us. He steals things away from us and he tries to make us believe lies that well destroy who we are. If we don't stick it out and wait for Gods' best in any situation, we'll never know how happy we really could've been. I'm still waiting for Gods' best, but you know how much I'm learning about myself through this time! Do you realize how much closer to God i've become?! How much more I understand His love for me. I apologize if I'm upsetting some of you but the truth is, GOD HAS BETTER FOR YOU! THAN YOU have for yourself! His plans are flawless.. And he loves you no matter who you want to be...

It's sort of like you don't agree with something one of your friends like or believe but you still like them anyway.. That's God! Even if I were to take that path, God would still have loved me as much as he did and does. There is nothing that can separate us from the Love of God. But maybe it's time to start trusting that God has the best for you trust that He knows what He's doing and wait on the things that God wants to give you. God loves You.. God likes you..and He accepts you just the way YOU ARE!

Chris.

Prayer blog 1

As you will no doubt notice i wrote this awhile back....
When Chris asked me to help out with her project i decided this might be a good first blog to share.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

To pray or not to pray....
Current mood:Pondering....
Category: Life


Hey guys!
i have had so much on my mind lately. With me having to actually use sick time the last two weeks i have had alot of time to reflect on and ponder a few things... i have really slacked off on my blogs...
Not that they really are of much use except to me. Writing is very therapeutic and i also find that if i write it down i remember it!
i'm going to share several blogs.... not try to put them all in one just because as my friends know... i can get a little random and carried away once i get started.

So first of all i have been thinking about prayer alot for the last several months. It is so important and yet at times i find that i would tell someone that i would pray for them and then fail to. i have a question concerning that...
When that person returns and says "thank you so much for your prayers!"
What do YOU do if you have forgotten to pray for them? i have learned that it is best to humble yourself and tell them " i am so sorry but i forgot"
They will usually look at you with bewilderment, because most people will not admit to that.
Something that has stood out in my mind for years is a dear friend named Beverley Allen. Her daughter and i were best friends during Jr, High and High School and got into alot of trouble together.
Nevertheless... Mrs. Bev believed in me, even though she knew me all too well. But she also knew of my home life and the struggles there. She hired me at the Daycare when i was sure she would think about my past and hold those things against me.
By her example she showed me what grace meant... she showed me the love of Jesus when i thought it was undeserved.
Well, one day i saw her in the hall at work and asked her if she would pray about something for me... i don't even remember what it was about, but i do remember what she did! She stopped right there in the middle of the hall and prayed with me. i had never had anyone do that before and it made a lasting impression.
i know that not everyone is comfortable doing that, but you can let people know you are sincere when you tell them you will pray for them....

You can write it down and give it to them.
Since i have been on myspace and facebook i have learned to do this through messages. Make sure you have the right motive behind it.
You shouldn't do it to get anything in return. If you are writing to a favorite band you have to remember they are very busy at times.
Do not get frustrated if you don't hear anything back. That is not why you should be doing it in the first place.
Praying is out of true love and concern for others and to bring glory to God not to bring honor to yourself.
Sorry i had to say that because we are only human ...we sometimes have misplaced motives. Me included...
The only reason i share with someone what i am praying for them is so that they know i'm not just saying "i'm praying for you" but so they know i am sincere.
i have learned that if i realize my motives aren't right to just delete it.

Ask people to share prayer requests with you... just what they feel comfortable with.
The most IMPORTANT THING to remember is that when someone shares a personal prayer request with you... it should go NO FURTHER!!!
No one else NEEDS to know!!!
If the person tells you that you can share it then that is okay, but unless they specifically give you permission do not repeat it.
Not even to their other friends! Friends don't know everything about each other and that is okay....
Prayer is such an important part of our lives as a Christian but so many times we fail to do it.
i think one thing that keeps people from praying more is thinking there are certain things that must be said. God knows your heart. He doesn't have to hear certain words to make it "official".
Also prayer doesn't have to be planned.
It doesn't have to be long. Sure there are times you might set aside a time to pray for specific things. But for me... more often than not when someone comes to mind i just say a prayer for them right then. God knows what that person needs even if you don't.
So pray with that in mind... with knowing that God knows what we need before we even ask, and that He truly gives us what is best for us.
The quantity of words doesn't matter it's the heart felt prayer that means the most. The more you pray throughout the day the more it becomes second nature. It doesn't have to be out loud God knows our thoughts!

i am not claiming to know everything about prayer.... these are just some things that have helped me to pray more. It has made a really big difference in my life.

God amazes me... may i never cease to be amazed!!
big hugs and high 5's!!
your friend,
:)kimberly

Saras' Testimony

I have been thinking alot latley on how good my life is compaired to other peoples in the world. There is so much to be thankfull for. There are people that struggle everyday with life. Some people think there not good enough for God because they have chosen a wrong path at some point of there life and got into stuff they shouldn't of. Things like drugs and alchal abuse. Some people have done things they are not proude of and are ashamed of and are afraid that God will never forgive them and they have lost there chance of having a relationship with Jesus. I have gone through a time where I didn't think I could be loved by Jesus. I felt ashamed of things I have done in my past and the mistakes I have made in my life. I had a friend that had a wounderfull relationship with Christ. She would tell me how wounderfull Jesus is and how God had blessed her with so many things. I wasn't sure if everything she was telling me was true or not so I pushed the things she was saying away from my every day thoughts. Later on down the road she had invinted me to go see Billy Grahm with her and her family and DC Talk was going to be there. I never heard of them before so I didn't really want to go but my Mom had made me go. So on the way to the way to see Billy Grahm and DC talk my friend was telling me all about the band and how they loved Jesus. I just shruged off like no big deal. when the time DC talk come on the stage and they started to sign I could feel a comfort come over me it was a strange type of comfort that scared me a lil because I had no idea what it was that was comeing over me. I wound up getting one of there albums at the show and when I got home I put it in. when the cd started playing I felt strange like something was trying to change the way I felt it was hard to explain excatley what it was that I was feeling. I got freaked out and took the cd out and put it behind my other cd's. I forgot about the album that was sitting there and a few years later I meet someone on myspace that was a Christian that loved the Lord with all his heart and he was telling me how he let Jesus in his heart and how blessed and happy he was that had done that. It got me thinking about who Jesus was and what he stood for. I went to my shelf and dusted off my dc talk cd and put it in and really listend to the lyrics and decided to look up meaning to some of the words and what they where trying to say in there music. a few months later I went to a Disciple concert and the lead vocalist was talking about how Jesus forgives us for our sins and he loves us and how God loves us for who we are and that we shouldn't be scared of what he can do in our lifes. Something clicked that night and I decided to open my heart to Jesus and every since that day I have been happier then I ever have been and i'm learing so much about Jesus every day. When I met Chris she told me the best way to find out the truth about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ was to pick up the Bible and start reading it and ask questions and don't be ashamed of loving him and having a relationship with him. I have to say I picked up my Bible that day and have not stopped reading it. It truly helps to understand God and how he created us to love him and to be loved by him. So when you start to feel down and alone remeber that you never are alone that God is there and all you have to do is speak to him and he will hear you. You may never get a answer when you would like one but he hears you and will bless you with many wounderfull things. I hope this blog has helpped some of you realize that just because you made a mistake in the past does not mean you cannot have a relationship with God.

God bless,

-sara-

So.. you like a guy and he's not liking you back?

That's a truly hard thing to go through. There is so much we could talk about on this subject but i'm going to keep it too a minimum.

Liking a guy, Lusting after a guy and Loving a guy are 3 very different things although they can be intertwined.

So this blog is going to be about seperating the three. And knowing when they should go together.


Lust is an intense longing after something that is not ours.
Love is an affection or loyalty towards someone/something.
Like is enjoying someone.

So you've seen a guy, you think he's "good looking." That's all your basing your "liking" a guy on. All that means is you "like" what you see. We actually haven't stepped into lust yet because well you walked away. Just thought the person was good looking.

Later you see that guy again and start thinking what it would be like to be with him, to date him, he's gorgeous and you just want to be with him, you can't wait you have to have what you see. You walk away thinking/longing about that person more and more and more every day, there is no way they wouldn't be yours that's it. you like them so they're yours. Honey, you just turned your liking someones' looks(attraction) into lust.

You can actually think someone is attractive and not lust after them. A shocker I know but it's true. We can love someone that we are attracted to though, so there is hope.

Liking someone is totally different then both of those but you have to like someone in order to "fall" in love with them. Liking someone is enjoying them being around. If you don't enjoy their company you don't like them... you love them. You're definitely not "In Love" with them. Don't mistake being "in lust" with someone for "in love."

Lust is more of a "feeling" and a "longing" for, I want it because it "looks" good. Note: sin looks good too (lust for someone-in any form-is adultry). Love is more of an "As a Matter of Fact" It's an action. It's not just a feeling. It just is. We "Love" our family members (we don't lust after them) and sometimes we don't "like" them. But we love them. God loves us and we're supposed to love God. How we do that is by "showing" Gods' love. Love is letting some one go when they're not holding on to you. Letting that person be who they want to be but being there for them when they find out they want to be someone else. When you say I love you, you're telling a person I'll be there for you no matter what. EVEN if you don't "like" them(being a true friend)


Being "in love" with someone acquires all three of these, except the lust. How can I explain being okay with intimacy(private, personal) without lust being involved. I'll explain it this way. I was sexually abused. I didn't want any guys touching me no matter who they were. I flinch when any guys touch me, it doesn't matter who they are. UNLESS I trust them. When I was finally "comfortable" around someone I realized I wouldn't mind being with that person. It wasn't lust it was an unexpected comfortableness with being intimate with that person. (however if I think/long to much about being "okay" with it- it does become lustful) In Love is truly liking, loving, and being comfortable with being intimate with that person. I feel that in order to be fully in love with someone the other person has to feel that way about you too.

If a guy is not liking you back. It doesn't mean you're a horrible person. It means the guy isn't the guy for you. Sift through what you're "feeling" is it like, love, or lust? is it all three together? Is it really none of those at all? There is rare times that the guy doesn't see how much he really likes you. These are times to be patient with him, pray about the situation. Don't go praying "Lord, help him to fall in love with me." We don't want to be speaking things over someones life that isn't for them. But you can pray that God shows both of you His will no matter what it is.

Last point.. Guard your Hearts!! That doesn't mean don't fall for someone or don't try giving your heart to someone. It means to make sure that your heart is in Christ. Make sure that you are praying all the time for the situation, for you, for your future mate(no matter who it is). For God to prepare you for whatever/whoever is coming. If you're falling for someone and you're not praying for it don't yell at God when it doesn't happen. You let yourself fall without putting your heart where it should be in the first place and that's In Love with our first love.

Jesus!


Be Radiators,
Chris

What is this Ministry/Project About?!

the 7 is said to be the number of Completeness... the number 8 is said to be the number of "New Beginnings" we're on the edge of the 7 and the 8 we're not yet complete and the people that come to us are trying to get to the point we're they can begin again. The thing is we're not complete without Christ (Ephesians 1:10, I Corinthians 8:6, John 1:3, and 2 Corinthians 5:17) We undestand this but sometimes things come into our lives and happen to us that We do not see God in. Such as rape, abuse, or other things that happen to people. In this ministry/project my mission is to show the youth that even if they're going through something God is still with them. God STILL loves them. We take a problem that people are having, they talk to us about it and we break it down to one... make it easier for the person to deal with. 2.. to see what the bigger problem is. and 3 to find a solution for each problem.. The one thing we are not going to do is Bible beat people... If you're talking to someone that doesn't seem like a Christian DO NOT!! do NOT try to slap God in their face every 5 mins.. We are here to show Gods' love if you ask someone to pray with them and they decline.. it's fine.. we'll pray about them on our own time and in Prayer Force on Saturdays'.

Directing people to a proper solution will be our goal.

The one thing I want people to realize about us is that we're all real people and we all go through things that make us question who we are and who God is. So that's the reason for the Blogs.

Our Salvation

Question 1
Can you Ever lose your Salvation?



Technically no you can not lose salvation. Since when you receive Jesus and accept Him as your Lord and Saviour. Salvation comes From God. If you have sincerly accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour He will send the Holy Spirit to help you and guide you in making godly decisions. Even though we falter and fall every single day. That does not mean we have lost our salvation.

The only way to truly lose your salvation... is by totally renouncing God. OR... by not truly accepting salvation to begin with.

More">http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LndpbGxvd3NwcmluZ2NodXJjaC5vcmcvc2l0ZS9kYnBhZ2UuYXNwP3BhZ2VfaWQ9NDIwNCZzZWNfaWQ9MjgzNA==">More In Depth Study on that question

Insecurity and Confidence

Question: Maybe insecurity or lack of confidence.
I struggle with those issues but not like I used to,
it was bad but God is helping me.



What does God say about insecurity and confidence?

God is our security.... That is hard for a lot of us to grasp. I have learned just recently that not
everything you're feeling is the truth of what God is and what God wants you to be. The best way to bring up your
self confidence is to realize your weaknesses and your strengths and to expand on your strengths and not worry
about your weaknesses.

Let me explain:

When you are so focused on wanting to make your weaknesses better you'll become frustrated since God most likely
made your weakness a weakness for a reason (like.. your future husband/wife is going to compliment that weakness
but it being their strength) God gives us certain gifts for us to realize them and to grow them. Growing our stregths
helps us to be more confident in the fact that God knows what He's doing, trusting that we have those strengths for
a future reason.


Building up your strengths is a part of building up your confidence. But the confidence we build up should be
in Christ (God) not in ourselves. He after all gave us the gifts, when we start trusting in ourselves to build
our self confidence we take away the trust we're supposed to give to God and it screws up our thoughts of ourselves.
The Bible tells us the foolish trust in themselves and they will perish:
Psalm 49: 12-13
12 But man, despite his riches, does not endure;
he is c]" class="footnote">[c] like the beasts that perish.

13 This is the fate of those who trust in themselves,
and of their followers, who approve their sayings.
Selah.

when we trust in God and trust that he will bring us confidence when we need it most our confidence in GOD will grow therefore our confidence in who we are is going to grow. When we realize who God has made us and why He formed us the way we are confidence is automatically going to grow because we know who we are.

Insecurity sort of goes with confidence.. Feeling secure is something that Satan will take away from you every day. this has to do with self esteem and not knowing who you are and Can be in Christ. confidence and security are both feelings that we take to levels we shouldn't. Feeling something or not feeling something doesn't necassarily mean it's the truth. Not realizing the security of God will allow Fear to creep in.

Praying constantly for God to comfort you is a great thing for you to do. The Holy Spirit is after all our comforter.

The truth is no matter what:

When we receive Christ.. HE is our security... realizing that will take time.. it takes continueing to speak the positive "confessions" the truths that God has given us in the Bible until we truly believe it. here are a couple promises God has given us:



When I am afraid, I will trust in you.In God whose words I praise.

Psalms 56:3,4



Psalm 18:1-2 NIV

I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.



Psalm 31:23-24 The Message

Love God, all you saints;
God takes care of all who stay close to him,
But he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone.
Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon.



Psalm 119:114 NIV

You are my refuge and my shield;
I have put my hope in your word.



1 Peter 5:7 NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.



God Loves you!
Don't let Satan lie to you about who you are in Christ.



Your self confidence will lie to you.. God won't..
God is our confidence and our security


Chris.